Managing to Manage

Monday, March 7, 2016

“She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.” 

         I have found that the best sort of motivation for myself is when I witness others’ success. Call it jealousy, but it gets me moving. This past week I have truly noticed a change in myself. I have all the motivation in the world, but the ability to keep going continues to dwindle. What’s scary about all this? I am gaining weight. This is the absolute LAST thing I wanted. Granted, Mother Nature is currently visiting and that has a huge effect on my breakouts, water weight, mood, etc., but I cannot continue to use that as an excuse to avoid the gym/Shaun T. I have huge hopes that after midterms pass, I will be able to focus more on my health. I say this as I am sitting crisscross-applesauce in the middle of my lecture typing up a quick post for my small dead-end blog instead of paying attention. I know I am being extremely negative, but I never thought this was going to be this hard. Before you decide to lose weight, you have occasional glimmers of confidence where you tell yourself, “Damn girl, you look good!” while getting ready for your day and having a dance party in your favorite jeans. I assume once I begin to lose weight, I will have those moments more often than before, but as of recently, dance party count has been zero.

         I keep telling myself that my problem isn’t my eating habits, I generally eat pretty healthy. I seem to direct my problems towards my laziness/stress. I could spend the entire day in University telling myself, “Ooo, I’m gonna go home before work and take a walk!” or “Ooo, I’m going to run through my Cize program before getting ready for work!” and on my way home I’ll realize how much homework I have or how late I will be working and how much sleep I will lose, and skip the idea all together. My plan? Adjusting my sails. My life is a hurricane right now and yet losing the weight is still first on my agenda… I just have to find a way to fit it into my schedule. I’ll have to look at other’s who have managed to manage their time.

My ex boyfriend’s mother lost about 20-30 pounds last year and looked amazing. How did she do it? Biking. She rode her bike virtually everyday… The problem? I don’t know how to ride a bike. Do I want to learn? Heck yeah! Can you imagine how nice it’ll be to get home and say, “Wow, ten miles!” Although, I do have a huge fear of falling/looking awkward while riding. Which I know… That’s ridiculous, but I’ll have to put it behind me because the outcome is far greater. I guess my next step is finding a bike… How stressful. Which one is the best? I guess that’s for another day. Funny how I was convinced this post would be another glooming post about how much of a slacker I’ve been, but has become my next big sail adjustment.